There’s much, much more to anal sex than just intercourse! Millions of men and women, straight, gay and bisexual, have experimented with anal play. The anus is filled with nerve endings and is connected to the pelvic muscles. Did you know it even pulsates rhythmically during orgasm and there are many ways to stimulate the anus erotically. Many enjoy a finger or two inserted and gently rotated during intercourse or masturbation. Sex toys – butt plugs, anal beads and anal toys like the anal tool or smooth anal tool can penetrate a bit further than the typical finger. Anal sex is just one of many sexual positions that a couple can add to their routine. If this is something you or your partner has always wanted to try, here are a few helpful hints to keep things fun and sexy.
- Communicate before you get started.
It’s very important to make sure both you and your partner are interested in trying this. Communication builds trust, which can make anal sex a very pleasurable and sexy activity.
- Take your time.
Taking things slowly can ease pressure for both partners when trying something new. And if at first things don’t quite work, it’s fine to try again later – during the same lovemaking session or another night.
This is sometimes easier said than done. The person on the receiving end who is going to be inserted into, might want to have an orgasm before getting started to help unwind.
Yes, practice does make perfect. The person receiving can practice doing kegel exercises – that is, tightening and loosening the anal sphincter muscles – at any time before engaging in anal sex. (Doing a kegel is like pretending you are holding back gas or a bowel movement, and then letting go. Repeat this five to ten times in a row, in sets of three to have maximum effect).
- Work up to it.
The inserter, can start with a well-lubricated finger before using a penis, or anal toys to penetrate.
- Use a condom.
Many STDs, including HIV and hepatitis, can be transmitted through anal sex. A condom is your best bet for playing safe.
- Lube, lube, and more lube.
Lubricant is vital to anal sex. When you think you’ve put on enough, go for a little more. And if you’re using condoms, make sure you use the correct type of lube. Silicone lubricant stays slicker longer, however a thicker lubricant like Anal Lube or Maximus is your best bet. Perhaps also try a relaxing spray like Intimate Organics Adventure Anal Relaxing Spray.
- Breathe and communicate.
Breathing helps make the insertion easier. Talking helps you each know what feels good and what you want more of, and what isn’t working quite as well and you want stopped.
- Try various positions.
Side by side, or spooning, is often the best for beginners. It gives the receiver more control over the pace and movement. Many couples also try missionary position so they can see each other and rear-entry or doggie style for maximum thrusting.
- Figure out what you like…and ask your partner to repeat it.
There are a few more advanced tips to having anal sex for the first time. Many people are worried about it being dirty, however there is actually very little fecal matter stored in the rectum. If either you or your partner is concerned, try an enema before getting started. It is, however, common for the bottom to feel the urge to have a bowel movement afterwards.
Thicker lubricants work better than thinner ones for anal sex. The anal tissues are very delicate and prone to tearing. These lubricants protect the tissues better during thrusting. Also, use plain condoms rather than the flavored ones, which could cause burning. Before using a toy examine it to make sure the are no rough edges that could scratch or tear the delicate lining, Also do the same for fingers as the finger nail is best to be kept short and filed smooth to keep free of ridges. Lastly, a sexy addition to anal sex is for the receiver, is to stimulate him or herself while the top is thrusting. Simultaneous orgasm is not only possible, but is easier during this activity!
-Some people are worried if there are any long-term effects of anal sex?
-Some ask how should my partner and I start the experience of anal sex?
No, there aren’t any long-term effects of anal sex, although many people think that there could be a problem of anal stretching. There have been studies done that confirm there is no loss of muscle tone or the ability to contract the anal sphincter muscles with regular anal sex.
Here are some tips to help get you started:
- Begin by using with a finger or a small sex toy (anal plug). Use plenty of water-based lubricant. Lay the finger horizontally across the anus. The receiver needs to gently push out, as if she / he is having a bowel movement, so his/her partner can pop a finger in.
- When the receiver is ready, put a condom on with lots and lots of water-based lubricant. Thicker lubes work best because they cushion the delicate anal tissues.
- Have the receiver take a deep breath before insertion. The receiver may want to have an orgasm first in order to fully relax. Talk to your partner about the pace, depth and rhythm as you’re penetrating.
- Side-by-side or spooning is a good position to start with. Face-to-face and rear entry are other common positions as you become more comfortable.
- There has to be trust between partners to have anal sex successfully. Communicate your needs and ask your partner about his or hers so that anal sex becomes a pleasurable addition to your sexual repertoire.
Extra: If your partner is a woman, be sure not to go back and forth between anal and vaginal penetration because it can cause infection, a helpful tip for this is starting with a few condoms on to begin with and when you go to switch between anal and vaginal just take off the top condom.
What it is:
Anal stimulation can trigger the same nerve pathways as a deep-vaginal orgasm, so it will feel similar.
With your fingers or his, start with light strokes just outside the anal opening, moving in slow circles. If you want penetration, relax and have him insert one or two well lubricated fingers about two inches into the rectum. If he’s using his penis, have him go very slowly. To avoid spreading bacteria, he should wash up and change the condom before touching you again. If using a toy be sure to use lots of lube and start off slowly, change the tempo to the speed you like. Soon you’ll be shivering with delight.
TOYS TO TRY
Butt Plugs – these toys come in many different sizes, and colours, but have the same shape (narrow at the top, thickest in the middle, narrow at the bottom, and have a flared base to keep the toy from getting sucked in and therefore getting stuck in the anus). Butt plugs are designed to stay in one place as opposed to sliding in and out. Butt plugs can be used to train and relax your anal muscles.
Vibrating Butt Plugs – these toys can give a feeling of fullness, with inner vibration that creates erotic and exciting sensations. They have the same shape as mentioned above however, these come with a multi-speed vibrator.
Anal Beads – these beads can come in all sizes and colours, from small to very large, and are strung together by a cord, if the cord is cotton, do not use more than once as the cotton will trap bacteria even after washing. To use anal beads, insert a well-lubed string of beads into the anus and during orgasm slowly pull them out.
Anal Probes – these toys can come in vibrating or non-vibrating and some come with mounds or a slender then wider shaft which allows the anus to expand or contract while sliding in and out.
Inflatables – with these toys, you can increase the pressure and therefore the pleasure. Simply use the hand held pump after the plug is in place. When using during intercourse an inflatable plug fills the rectum and can create a tighter feeling vagina for your partner.
Anal Kits – these include different sizes and shapes for your anal play, as well as vibrating and non-vibrating components.
What is Female Ejaculation?
Believe it or not, the female orgasm and female ejaculation were unknown until relatively recently. Back in the 1800’s, if a woman was feeling aroused, her husband would take her to the doctor so that he (yes, all doctors were men in those days) could treat what was in those days diagnosed as “hysterical tension”. Symptoms of this “condition” included irritability, a temperature and swollen pudenda. And guess how the doctors treated their female patients with this condition? They prescribed masturbation! But the poor lady was not allowed to do this herself (this was deemed to be unhealthy and would rot the mind!). Usually stimulation of the woman’s genitals to orgasm was performed by either a midwife at the doctor’s surgery or sometimes by the doctor himself. The husband and wife would then return back to their 19th century domestic bliss, that is, until the wife got overly aroused again.
Female Ejaculation: It is Possible and no it’s not Pee!!!
Female Ejaculation? You mean women can ejaculate like men? Yes, we can!!
Many of us women are simultaneously curious and timid about the subject. Did you know that many women ejaculate already without actually knowing they are doing it?
It can be an intimidating concept to imagine gushing crazy amounts of fluid when you orgasm, but it can open you up to a new level of sexuality and can offer you the wildest, deepest, wettest orgasms ever!
As you might have guessed by now, the g spot is a big player in squirting – in fact female ejaculation is even sometimes referred to as g spot female ejaculation…g spot stimulation requires firm pressure be applied, therefore when using a g spot toy a harder one is best.
It’s helpful to know that some women experience ejaculation due to stimulation to the g spot alone; others can ejaculate with clitoral stimulation and others do best with a combination of both. However, the g spot (with or without direct stimulation) is the key area as it becomes engorged and swells when aroused and thus sets in motion the release of ejaculate fluid. Also, you still might be wondering what the substance of female ejaculate is made of, as well as where it comes from. If you are like most people, you have probably heard that it is just pee, but this is not the case. Although it is released via the urethra – the same tube we release urine from – it is not pee! In fact, many cultures refer to it as sacred female sexual fluid or “amrita.” You might also have heard female ejaculation called squirting orgasm or female cum, but ejaculation and orgasm, although they can happen simultaneously, and usually do, are actually two separate things.
You might be wondering what exactly is this substance of female ejaculate? And if it is released through the urethra but is not urine – which it is not – then what exactly is it?
It is interesting to know that men also release ejaculate through their urethra, the same tube they pee from. In fact, the whole process of female ejaculation is much like male ejaculation.
Confused at all? Here’s a brief description of the process:
As a woman, when you get turned on, your whole pelvic area begins to get hot and aroused, and the glands that surround your urethra, (called Skene’s paraurethral glands) start to fill up. This is why sometimes when the g spot gets stimulated; you may feel like you need to pee. Many of these glands cluster to make up the organ known as the beloved g spot. When you feel your g spot get engorged and protrude more into the vagina, it is the organ filling with female ejaculate. The fluid will either get recycled into the bladder and will come out when you next pee, or it will be released through your urethra as female ejaculation. At times this can mean a few teaspoons, and at others a cup or more!
You still might be wondering – is it urine? The answer is, no, it isn’t! It is a fluid that can be either “milky” or clear, that usually has little or no odour or taste, although this can change depending on your diet or where you are in your menstrual cycle. The fluid of female ejaculate is a mixture of glucose, fructose, some hormones and acids known as PSA and PAP, with here and there traces of urine. OK – enough of the scientific stuff.
Although you now know a bit more about female ejaculate, many cultures have not only known about it since ancient times but have both celebrated and revered it. In fact, it was known as “Liquor Vitae” in Ancient Rome, “The Third Water” in Taoist traditions, “Waters of Gaia” or “Waters of Life” in many different indigenous cultures, and is referred to by Tantric or Indian traditions as “Amrita.” In ancient Japan, it was common for women to own “Ejaculation Bowls” for capturing the flow for later use. And how was it used? Female ejaculate is considered by many to be an aphrodisiac. Many ancient cultures considered it to be a health tonic that had the ability to reverse the aging process, and so they drank it and made tea out of it. Many traditions believe that both male ejaculate and female ejaculate are needed for conception.
OK, so even though most of us won’t be making tea out of female ejaculate, there are a few recommended essential items for your own exploration… Fingers and tongues are excellent, but consider adding a G-Spot vibrator to your bag of tricks. And, because you likely don’t want to have an ejaculation bowl like in ancient times, I recommend you put down a couple of towels.
To get started with female ejaculation, set aside some time to do the exercise we’ve written for you below.
A Female Ejaculation Exercise for Women
This female ejaculation exercise is for you – the woman – to get comfortable touching and stimulating yourself, and bringing yourself to ejaculation. Leave about 45 minutes to an hour for this female ejaculation exercise. You don’t need much – gather some lube, a couple of towels, a small hand mirror, and your favourite dildo or vibrator. You may also want to pee before starting, so that later during the exercise, you know you are not peeing, you are experiencing female ejaculation. During this female ejaculation exercise, feel free to use a small hand mirror to see what you look like touching yourself and ejaculating.
- Take a hot shower or bath, and get really relaxed and comfortable. It’s really important with female ejaculation that you be relaxed and open (you are, after all, letting something out!)
- Set yourself up in a cozy and comfortable location, with several layers of towels underneath you. You will likely want to be reclining or sitting up – lying down on your back will probably not allow you to reach your g spot.
- Begin to touch yourself, using your fingers or a dildo or vibrator – any and all of your favourite techniques to get yourself really hot. You can touch your clitoris, as well as your g spot.
- Once you are intensely aroused, take a moment to find and play with your g spot. Reaching your g spot with just your fingers might be hard – it depends on where yours is exactly. To locate yours, take one or two fingers (you might want to use lube) and insert them inside yourself, palm up, fingers hooked, and feel around about 1½ inches in, on the front wall of your vagina, just above the pubic bone. You will likely find a pea or walnut sized spot that feels a different texture from the rest of the vagina. Play with this spot, and notice what feels best to you. Also try using your vibrator or dildo (again with lube) – it can offer much more access and control when playing with your g spot.
- You can try the “withdrawing” technique of rubbing the g-spot directly in a series of 5 to 6 repetitions, and then withdraw fully your fingers or the vibrator suddenly; wait about 2-3 seconds and then repeat. This can bring on ejaculation, and you often see this technique used in videos.
- If it doesn’t, just keep heading toward orgasm, touching either your clit or g spot (or both), whatever works best for you. Either way, keep noticing the full or watery feeling you are likely experiencing. If you bring yourself to orgasm, rather than stopping, keep touching yourself – see what happens when you go beyond orgasm.
- If you feel like you need to pee, you are on the right track – but rather than backing off, push into this feeling. Some need to relax to let the ejaculate come out, but others may find a need to assist with pushing out.
- You are there! You are not peeing, you are experiencing female ejaculation! Don’t worry about getting the area wet – that is what the towels are for – just relax, release and let go.
- Take a moment to appreciate your body and its capacity for such immense pleasure, and the amazing experience of female ejaculation. If you didn’t ejaculate this time, don’t worry! Think back on this female ejaculation exercise – what felt good, what you noticed, where you got stuck or blocked, etc. Think of a few things you’ll do differently next time, and then try it again on another day.
- Practice does make perfect after all! Experiment with how best to stimulate your g spot but remember that firm pressure is required. Don’t forget that g spot toys can help in many instances.
What are Sex Toys Made Of?
While sex toys are made from a wide variety of substances, most use the following materials:
CyberSkin, also known as thermal plastic, is the brand name of a soft elastomer material that mimics the experience of human skin, warm and soft to the touch, yet with a firm underlying texture. Cyberskin or UR3 (Ultra Realistic 3.0) material toys are soft and stretchy, with a velvety texture. Sex toys made of these substances are more durable than latex, but also often carry higher price tags. If your CyberSkin (or equivalent material) ever becomes unpleasantly sticky, just give it a light dusting of cornstarch to restore its original texture. ONLY USE water-based lubricants on these materials as silicone or any petroleum or oil-based lubricant will destroy CyberSkin. Toys made of these materials are extremely porous, so sharing of toys without a condom is not safe.
Care and Lubrication: You should thoroughly clean the sex toys made of these materials between uses, and coat them with a proprietary renewal powder to ensure it retains its lifelike texture. You can also use cornstarch and a soft cloth to keep your sex toys in the best condition. These materials are extremely sensitive and should be cleaned with warm water and a mild antibacterial solution like Ready Toy Cleaner. Do not use alcohol-based or other types of household cleaner as they will damage the material. After cleaning, pat dry with a lint-free towel and allow your CyberSkin product to air dry before applying renewal powder. This will prevent discoloration and protect your toy when not in use.
Silicone is soft and lifelike, it is hypoallergenic, and it warms up quickly to body temperature. It is non-porous and so is easy to clean with toy cleaner and water. Silicone Toys may also be boiled for sterilization to allow for sex-toy sharing without the need for condoms. Unlike jelly rubber and other porous substances, silicone can be sterilized in temperatures up to 300 °C (572 °F). Sex toys made of silicone are more expensive than those made of jelly and rubber, but they are particularly durable and will last for years with appropriate care.
Care and Lubrication: As with all sex toys, a thorough washing after each use is called for. Use an antibacterial solution like Ready Toy Cleaner, or, as mentioned above, boil or otherwise heat the toy to sterilize it completely. When using lubricants with silicone sex toys it is important that you ONLY USE water-based lubricants as silicone or any petroleum or oil-based lubricant can destroy Silicone toys.
Jelly sex toys are from a mixture of PVC and rubber, resulting in a soft jelly-like texture and feel. Sex toys made from jelly feel reasonably realistic, and are relatively reasonably priced. Jelly often looks translucent and sometimes has a rubber odour due to its porous character, but most people are not troubled by the odour. One drawback to Jelly sex toys is that they are made with phthalates. Phthalates are “plasticisers” or softeners added to plastics to make jelly more flexible, more transparent and allow them to last longer. This material is one of the least expensive substances from which to make a sex toy.
Care and Lubrication: Cleaning a jelly toy is similar to CyberSkin, which is to say use a mild anti-bacterial solution like Ready Toy Cleaner and warm water, taking care to dry the toy and store it in a cool, dry place away from other objects especially other jelly toys. ONLY USE water-based lubricants with jelly toys.
Similar to jelly, elastomer is a much higher quality. An elastomer is a compound that does not include phthalates. As you may have read, phthalates are “plasticizers” used to soften PVC vinyls. If vinyls do not contain any softeners, they are very hard PVC plastic. You can quickly determine the grade of the vinyls and quantity of plasticizers (phthalates) used by the smell. The more odour you smell, the lower the grade and the more phthalates used. Elastomers are a completely different material. They start out soft and have product added to make them harder. This product is then removed by high vacuum so there are no residual hardeners. No solvents are used in this process and there is no latex. This type of material is ideal for manufacturing a variety of textures.
Care and Lubrication: Using a water-based lubricant will give the best results with sex toys made from elastomers, and as with other toys, they should be cleaned after each use with a mild anti-bacterial solution like Ready Toy Cleaner and water.
Simple latex rubber is commonly used to make many dildos, which is not as pliable as silicone or jelly; rubber dildos tend to be very firm and not very lifelike to the touch. If you have no latex allergies, they will serve well through many uses when properly maintained. Like jelly toys, rubber dildos are quite porous, so they require the same soft touch when cleaning them and should not be shared without using condoms. Rubber dildos can be quite inexpensive.
Care and Lubrication: Cleaning with a soft cloth, Ready Toy Cleaner and water after each use is mandatory when using a rubber sex toy. Be sure to use a condom if sharing this type of sex toy, and water-based lubricants are best for the long-term health of latex rubber.
TPR (Thermoplastic rubber) is a polymer blend that has a thermoplastic character. TPR is hypoallergenic, nontoxic and phthalate free. TPR is less porous than Cyberskin but more porous than Silicone, therefore it is recommended that a condom be used with sex toys made of TPR to prevent the spread of bacteria and other infectious agents.
Care and Lubrication: TPR sex toys should be cleaned with water and antibacterial sex toy cleaners like Ready Toy Cleaner. This material cannot be sterilized by boiling.
Acrylic or Lucite
These materials are as hard as a rock, which doesn’t seem like the ideal texture for a sex toy. However, this firm texture makes acrylic and Lucite perfect for PC muscle-strengthening toys such as Kegel exercisers. This material is also good for prostate-stimulating toys, which many people consider to be dildos, too. Another great thing about these materials: you can boil them without harming them, which means you can share your toys.
Care and Lubrication: as mentioned, these toys may be boiled for sterilization, but if you are not sharing, a simple bath with Ready Toy Cleaner and water will do. Another upside of this type of toy is that it may be used with any type of lubricants including silicon-based, water-based or oil-based.
Glass sex toys are commonly made from clear medical grade borosilicate glass (”hard glass”) of which Pyrex is one well-known brand. This material (essentially “lead-free crystal”) is completely non-toxic and will withstand extreme temperatures as well as considerable physical shock without compromising its structural integrity. Glass toys made of borosilicate are completely safe. A properly annealed inch thick piece will withstand up to 3,000 lbs of pressure and extreme heat and cold. Glass dildos are also non-porous and can be sterilized to help prevent infection with reuse or sharing. These types of sex toys are not only durable, but also visually appealing, often considered by some to resemble works of art. Glass sex toys are a long-lasting alternative to less expensive toys. These toys can also be warmed or chilled before use.
Care and Lubrication: These toys may be boiled or otherwise heated for sterilization, but if you are not sharing, washing with Ready Toy Cleaner and water will do. You can even toss them in the dishwasher! As with acrylic and lucite, this type of toy may be used with any type of lubricant; silicon-based, water-based or oil-based.
Sex toys made of chrome alloy and stainless steel are non-porous, easily warmed to body temperature, pleasurable, and beautiful. Steel sex toys will last almost indefinitely if cared for properly.
Care and Lubrication: No special precautions are needed for stainless steel sex toys, all of which are resistant to almost everything including food and beverages. You can or wash in the dishwasher however using Ready Toy Cleaner and water is a safe and easy way to keep your toy disinfected. For lubrication, you can use any type, including water, oil, or silicone-based lubricants.
How To Use The We-Vibe?
The We-Vibe is Perfect for Couples or Solo Play!
The We-Vibe replaces an entire selection of adult toys because it is versatility. It has the power of a large vibe but is small enough to fit into a woman’s contours and deliver stimulation directly to the Clitoris and G-Spot. The We-Vibe has no wires or straps to get in the way or ruin the mood. Leave your We-Vibe plugged in and charging so it will always be ready when you are. The We-Vibe fits women anatomically and is so slender and conforming that a penis or dildo can easily fit into the vagina along with the We-Vibe.
To Use: Wash your We-Vibe with antibacterial toy cleaner before and after use. Only use water based lube. Adjust the power setting to low or high speed and prepare to enjoy the thrilling sensations! Insert the tapered, slender end into the vagina about 3 inches (8 cm) up to the bend. The flexible “C” shaped We-Vibe will easily open to an “L” shape when worn. The larger “Clitoral Pad” will nestle in between the labia and against the clitoris. The We-Vibe has a safe silicone exterior and has no smell or taste. This high performance device is designed to function reliably and have a long life of providing pleasure.
The G-Spot stimulator has a tapered “tear drop” shape that will naturally hug your G-Spot while you make love. The internal G-Spot vibrator motor will provide the ideal stimulation directly to the G-Spot and the pleasure ribs will gently massage the G-Spot when a penis or dildo moves inside the vagina. The We-Vibe’s anatomical shape will fit women’s internal contours and it will naturally and comfortable nestle in and massage the G-Spot. Once the smaller G-Spot stimulator has been inserted inside the vagina, the larger “Clitoral Stimulator” pad will flex back to gently hug the clitoris and the labia will conform over and around the We-vibe. The Clitoral Stimulator will spread the labia, expose the clitoris and nestle in directly against the clitoris. The powerful throbbing from the internal vibrator motor will directly stimulate the clitoris with the ideal climactic vibrations. The clitoral pad pleasure waves will provide added physical stimulation to the clitoris when the clitoral pad rubs against you while making love.
The We-Vibe can be worn while making love or while walking around the house as it will always try to stay nestled into the woman’s erogenous zone. The extremely low profile in the vaginal entry area and the We-Vibe’s mirror smooth finish makes it virtually unnoticeable to the man with the exception of the powerful vibrations. Men take pleasure in the experience of a vibrating vagina and especially enjoy sharing in their partner’s climactic response to the We-Vibe’s deep and powerful Clitoral and G-Spot vibrations.
The We-Vibe will run for more than two hours on “Low” speed and is quiet enough to be worn secretly under your clothes. Try making your next walk in the park or long commute to work a little more exciting! The We-Vibe is also great for Kegel exercises. The G-Spot vibrations help you to locate the Kegel muscles that need to be flexed and released to strengthen the vaginal muscles. The flexible nature of the We-Vibe gives your muscles something to work against as they contract.